Unless you for some lucky reason have yet to leave your temperature-controlled apartment/house/igloo, you’re starting to feel aggravated and might I even offer “seriously-considering-taking-the-next-boat-out-to-the-antarctic-to-chill (pun definitely intended)-with-emperor-penguins”.

It is freaking hot outside but here at the Tokyo Weekender, we are looking out for you. We have been reading up on the newest, chicest and oddest ways to stay nice and chilled just like your favorite Chablis. And, its simple. Go shopping.

Yes, those Louboutin’s that you’ve been coveting can save your life. Definitely. Studies show that shopping not only releases endorphins (the happiness hormone), boosts your immune system, keeps your brain quick and sharp, and even fulfills basic social needs. Need I say more? Lets do a light lunch then just spend the rest of the day at Omotesando Hills with our 1L’s of Fiji. So, here are 10 totally practical, (okay, not practical, but hilarious) and effective ways to beat the heat…

1. The l’eau down
That precious H2O makes up 60% of your body. It flushes out toxins and carries nutrients. You need to drink 2 liters a day, which is not even that hard—it’s four bottles of water that you can grab at the combini! But it’s also important to give water. Our favorite philanthropy is “charity: water” not only because its supported by the dreamy Adrian Grenier, but because we feel the responsibility to change the statistics that one in eight people on this planet drinks unsafe water, which amounts to over one billion at risk for water-borne diseases that can be thwarted by digging new wells, closer to communities that need them the most. So the next time you’re mulling over a purchase of “Bling H2O” maybe just buy your run of the mill bottle of Evian instead and donate the rest to;

www.charitywater.org

2. Change your diet

Every “how to stay cool” site has sworn by “grazing”. You are now a better person for knowing that grazing is not something done just by the bovine but by those who know how to stay the coolest. By eating lighter meals more frequently that consist of spicy, low protein and high vegetable content recipes you will cool down your body significantly. Your metabolic processes won’t heat you up so much and although the thought of eating something spicy when its 35 degrees C out is frankly just… “no” apparently its good for you. Just look at people who live on the Equator! You can sweat out all of your toxins, which inevitably cools you down through the evaporation process.

3. Chillows

Dear whoever invented Chillows. We applaud your punny approach to keeping us cool during those summer nights. Among our favorite things ever list, #23 is “flipping my pillow over to the cool side”. You know us too well. With a chillow, one can always sleep with the cool side of the pillow. I want one now.

www.drinights.com/store

4. Renew your wardrobe

If you were paying attention in physics class, you would have retained the information that darker colors absorb light (and therefore heat) and lighter colors reflect light/heat. So when choosing the perfect summer wardrobe, it’s crucial to pick lighter colors. Cotton seersucker is also a staple south of the Mason-Dixon line for its wrinkled nature that keeps itself away from the skin, keeping yourself cool even through the blistering heat. Remember to cover up: sweating a little more than usual is nothing compared to having UV-ray destroyed skin later in your life.

5. FREE: imagination station

Hmm, this one sounds a little new-age bulls****y but apparently “visualizing” snow, the arctic tundra, glaciers, ice, and all that jazz really helps to lower your body temperature as you fall asleep. Ha! yeah, right, okay, but we will try it anyway. Can’t hurt, right?

6. SAVING TIP: cut out alcohol and caffeine

Sorry, no more redbull vods for you! Stick to the Voss. Your body will thank you in the long run as well. Both alcohol and caffeine dehydrate your body, which is the LAST thing that you want (for your skin—and your life).

7. The ice pack investment

Our Pick: We swear by this. Instead of turning on the air-conditioner at night and wasting electricity, wear light pajamas and put frozen liquid ice packs under your armpits, the nape of your neck, and in your groin area (since these are the areas that retain the most body heat) and you will sleep so soundly.

8. FREE: sleeping naked

Ahh, we don’t want to visualize everyone sleeping naked. Just, keep that to yourself. No. We don’t want to know. However some say that it cools you down (obvious because of the lack of clothes) but others claim that it makes your sweat clings to your sheets, which is gross and uncomfortable.

9. Go global with your initiative!

You want to know why this summer is so insufferably hot? Blame global warming. And don’t give me your half-baked conspiracy theory that global warming doesn’t exist. A purchase that is worth every Yen, is an investment in green energy and reforestation. By working to reduce your energy output and carbon footprint, you can make a difference for future generations. By reforesting areas, you are actively ensuring that habitats will be created and the world will regain a lot of its balance that was stripped away by deforestation.

10. Surround yourself with diamonds

Literally; dripping diamonds. The reason they are also colloquially noted as “ice” is because they have the power to conduct heat from the surface they graze. This calls for a trip to Harry Winston.